Zakir Hussain And Me
Reflecting On The Life
“What’s your take on the year that is almost over? What is gained and what is lost? And what was done and not done?” Lulu, my parrot, asked me. He flew in from the window and had settled on the head of my armchair.
“And what will be remembered and what you would like to forget?” Nina the Myna added.
“What’s going on Lulu and Nina? I feel like a student before you! Nevertheless, your questions are important. Let me think and answer them” I said as I kept a plate of papaya and guava slices for Lulu and Nina, my myna.
“That’s a good strategy to keep our mouths shut” Lulu said as he nibbled with a guava.
“Ha ha! Your questions are good and deep, Lulu and Nina. There are no easy answers. Hmmmm …. I have a thought which is stuck in my mind” I removed my specs, placed them on the table and rubbed my eyes.
“Tell us” Nina, my myna said and looked up at me expectantly.
“The Tabla maestro Zakir Hussain is no more. He was 73, and exactly of my age. Look at what he has achieved in his lifespan which equals mine. He was passion and excellence personified. You are thinking of the last year, of gains and loss during the year. I am thinking of my lifetime.”
“You think you have done badly?” Lulu asked.
“Well, I feel I have been an ‘also ran.’ Nothing noteworthy. Nothing exceptional.”
There was silence for a while. Lulu and Nina looked at each other. Nina spoke, “I guess you are too harsh on yourself. You have edited a book, translated an English book in Marathi, and authored two books. Isn’t that a good achievement?”
“People enjoy reading your blogs, and they appreciate your photography” Lulu was consoling my weeping heart.
“I could have done much more, but I lived a life of complacency”.
“Look, everyone feels that his or her life is a life of missed opportunities. You are not the only one. But you are on the wrong track” Lulu hopped and moved closer to me.
“What do you mean?”
“I know what Lulu means; he is saying that you are looking into the rear-view mirror and that’s not the right thing to do” Nina said.
“You said it, Nina! The windshield of a car is fifty or hundred times the area of a rear-view mirror. That’s so with a purpose. An occasional glance at the rear-view mirror is okay, but you must stay focused on the front view, the road ahead.”
I was uncomfortable, and did not know how to communicate my feelings.
“Perhaps your mind is occupied with some other thoughts. Why don’t you share with us?” Nina spoke with a tone of empathy.
“I feel irrelevant, if you understand what I mean” I said.
Nina moved closer to me. Lulu gave me a sympathetic look. There was silence again. It felt as if it was a very long silence.
“You are not irrelevant; it is just that you are not in the mainstream of activities. That’s no fault of yours; it is your age”.
“At your age such a reflection should result in acceptance of one-self as one is. That possibly would lead to a sense of fulfilment”.
“Look, comparison is a trap. It only generates discontentment because we always compare ourselves with someone much better than us. You are comparing Zakir Hussain with yourself. But the Almighty does not produce replicas to compare. HE creates each living thing with uniqueness, be it a bird or a tree or a human being”.
“That’s true. Even twins are not replicas, they are unique in some way”.
“You said it! Uniqueness is the word. We must focus on our uniqueness. Be excellent at what you are good at. Give your best. Be it blogging, photography and the like. You will enjoy it and unknowingly you will make impact on the people around you.”
“You have pasted a beautiful poem under your signature in your email. Must I remind you of it?”
“Tell me”
“Pathmaker, there is no path/ You make the path by walking/ By walking, you make the path … ”
“Let me read this out to you … “The maturity of forgiven,” David Whyte says when talking about this understanding of self, “comes through growing a self which is large enough and compassionate enough to put an arm around the part of you that was hurt and wounded,” around the “part of you that didn’t quite understand what was going on.”
“So much for poetry! Whatever you do, do it whole heartedly. That is the way not to have feeling which Rabindranath Tagore expressed in one of his poems”.
“What’s that?”
“I have spent many days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung”.
“Got it, Lulu and Nina”.
Lulu, my parrot and Nina, my myna looked at me. They pushed the fruit plate toward me.
Feature Pic: Courtesy Pixabay
Vivek S Patwardhan
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others/ All work copyrighted.
Well said Vivek!
Zakir Hussain was tabla maistro He learnt a lot from his father. His house was in Mahim on Sitla devi temple road.Allarakha was his father. Highly accomplished tabla player.
Zakir learnt from his father and then went on to become world renowned Tabla artist.
The joy of seeing him on stage in a private concert at Madh island was my lasting memory.
His concerts were always house full.
At times, one thought that he was able to bring tabla alive whether it was ektal or teen tal.
He would always took blessings at the start of the concert from the Alla Rakha,his father, n in few years went on to become legend. He would make the Tabla talk n immerse with taal n nad in the most responsible manner. The fingers that moved on tabla were magical and would move with lightening speed. Money never spoiled him.
Today Americans view this as another wonder from India.
My Salam to the maistro!
There is a deep and powerful message hiding behind this apparently innocuous piece of work that compels the reader to think,think and think yet again.The conclusions are deeply personal and quite likely to change after each rey
Outstandingly expressed and so true.You are indeed blessed to be whom you became Vivek
Such reflection and introspection sets the tone and tenor for the future. It’s also in a way about taking stock of the present way of living and thinking.
To quote you Sir, ” I removed my specs, placed them on the table and rubbed my eyes”. This very gesture of yours during the long years of working with you had literally opened my eyes everytime you removed your specs……. This reflection of so many years has been your growth, and you continue to do so with renewed vigour and gusto.
I loved the thought of feeling irrelevant. I have started living and accepting irrelevance and made peace with it. Getting detached from looking good, feeling important and looking at the outside to pat my back. That journey in life is over..having kept Ahankar away. Feeling free not looking at the likes, comments and impressions that come up in FB, Instagram and LinkedIn and feeling happy and satisfied with my own impressions about myself.
Loved the article, your thoughts and your quotes, Sir. Salutations to you.
And Zakirbhai you continue to inspire me, and your melody goes on and on…
You have impacted and shaped hundreds of people’s not just hut what you do for them but also by being YOU. Curious, striving to be more, creative, daring, multifaceted and courageous to ask such deep questions. What a wonderful life and as someone said windshield will bring forth many new adventures with ur ahem ahem usual partners -in-crime..
Dear Vivek,
Very insightful reflections and as I grow older ( just a year and a half less than you), I too have the same gnawing doubts- could I have done more? what prevented me? do I have a “hook” to ark all the reasons why I did not?, and yes, we tend to compare with those that have achieved more and then realize that I have made some conscious or not so conscious choices and what life’s journey has been a consequence of those choices. Some good, some not so good. I feel that I need to look ahead and now do what I wish to do. In whatever way I can. And that I think is the way to forget age!!
Beautifully written, Vivek! In the last few days, I too have spent (not) a few hours, thinking what people will say when I pass away…how will my obituary be written? Will I even rate a mention? Apart from my close family and a smattering of friends, will I even be remembered?
Wise of Lulu and Myna to speak about the windscreen and the rear-view mirror…please ask them to fly by my window soon!
Sir, thank you for sharing.
I want to first share, I saw ‘It’s a wonderful Life’ recently. And Sir… if you get to see what difference you made… you will see that without you, i would not be where i am today. And like me, i am sure, many many more.
i get it, there can be a question asked – is the number of people that remember you/ miss you, and the frequency + intensity with which they will, and for how long after you are gone… an indicator of impact? If that is indeed the case, there is a moral question to be answered – what about the equally able who simply did not get the right ticket in the ‘lottery of fame’ (as Cass Sunstein would put it). And another – did Ustad Zakir Hussain live his life for that? [Despite putting maximum effort + intellect/ qualities + commitment/ drive].
It is also possible to enquire, without comparing, if i have done enough? Purpose of the question leads to the answer. And i loved three pointers in your article – 1) windshield & rear view; 2) uniqueness; 3) Gurudev’s reflection.
Lulu, Myna – do ask Sir when you are on a mission, if one can put purpose and attachment on the same side of the balance? And what would be on the side of that balance? I know you will ask more eloquently. And anything on these lines…
Thanks Vivek. I agree completely with Lulu and Nina’s views 🙂
Sir, This post of yours is a Super Hit!! It has stuck a chord with most of your avid fans (aka readers) Year ends, Birthday eves are often a point of reflections! I loved it that you made this comparison with a maestro like Zakir Saab. Please remember that there are many (like me) who have been admiring your journey! And for us you are a master piece yourself! I loved this message- understanding of self, “comes through growing a self which is large enough and compassionate enough to put an arm around the part of you that was hurt and wounded,” around the “part of you that didn’t quite understand what was going on.” Your posts are an inspiration always! Keep writing! Lulu, Naina should nudge you to write a screenplay for a movie soon! Thats my wish for you for 2025!!!
Thank you for sharing your reflections on our relevance at this age.life of every one is precious and one should avoid comparing to have peace of mind . You have achieved many laurels and impacted many lives. In accountants language, you have earned huge surplus ( credits less debits) in your life which you have shared with others.
Such a wonderful article. Exceptional way of writing. When someone starts reading it gives a feeling like you are not contended but as readers move forward they realise a philosophy that everyone is unique. Even twins are not replicas, one need to see content in their life. True, you have been inspirational to many of us us HR professionals.