I completely agree that just changing our mindset on being single parent /caregiver brings out such a sea change in the quality of our lives and those around us.

The other aspect of living each day well, stays with me.

In the middle of all the AI articles that I keep consuming. Thank you for reminding me of my humanity. You are my balance in life.

“There is a belief that for special children it is their last birth, they attain Moksha thereafter. Such souls choose their parents so that they too evolve searching goodness or godliness.”

This was actually told to my wife and I by a Varma therapy guru we had met very early when my daughter was going through her endless therapies. She is Autistic (mild ASD).

He also told me, “Don’t ask ‘Why me?’ Ask ‘Why not me?’ God gave you this child because He believes you are meant to be her parents.”

That sentence has stayed with me for years.
Whenever life felt heavy, I went back to those words. When my wife and I felt helpless… I told myself, Why not me? Maybe I was chosen to stand strong when she couldn’t.
When my son struggled through his teenage years and every day felt uncertain… I reminded myself, Why not me?
When the company I work for was just a small team with big dreams and bigger doubts… I thought, Why not me? Maybe I was meant to build it brick by brick, lesson by lesson.

That one shift — from “Why is this happening to me?” to “Why was I chosen for this?” changed everything.

Today, when I look back at our journey with our daughter, I don’t see a challenge anymore.

Our eldest grandson is a special child. So I can very well relate to the blog

Our son and daughter-in-law take care of him with all the love in the world and have taken career decisions so that he gets all the required attention.

What you mention about these ‘special’ children is so very true. He has a clean heart and goodness oozes from every pore of his body!

We are extremely proud of our son & daughter-in-law for what they do for him.. ( rather I should say HIM)

I personally know of incredibly strong mothers — and many parents — who walk this journey every single day with resilience and quiet strength. It takes much more than courage to stand tall and be consistently present for a special child.

Supporting such causes has always been close to my heart. The delicate balance between understanding the emotional realities families go through and meaningfully contributing support is something I deeply value and wish to continue pursuing.

Respect and admiration to all such parents who inspire us through their strength. Thank you for bringing this up.

— Vinu Pillai

I cannot even imagine the love and commitment a mother has in her heart to handle the months and years of care taking.

The journey from the temple (head) to commitment (heart) is indeed the longest.

A very thought provoking blog. I have seen special children at close quarters and once they stop complaining and accept the reality, there is a very special bond that develops. They are called special because they are special. I was reminded of a story in Readers Digest several years ago that was about a “Blue Rose”. The article said that we are used to seeing roses in all colours but don’t expect to see a Rose in Blue. When that happens, it is special. I have seen special children always being positive, extremely affectionate, bring cheer and ask innocent questions. The family lives with significant inconveniences. Once the move to committment takes place, the parents learn new things, get new insights to accept, love and grow!

Care giving and loving & caring for a person ( special child or sibling or a parent ) is truly a spiritual experience ….and helps the person to maintain balance and focus.