Contempt Our National Language Of Conversations
Lulu, my parrot, flew in from the window, landed on the sofa and looked at the newspaper in my hand. “Prashant Bhushan’s contempt case has created quite a storm,” he said.
“Yes. His tweets have led to his prosecution. The lawyer fraternity is up in arms,” I pointed out to another news story. “How do you look at this situation, Lulu?”
“Well, Hmmm….., I don’t know what to say. I think it is all about our language. Also about the language we use at home.”
“Ha, ha… I remember my school days. I remember my friend’s aunt who gave him a new cricket ball and asked how many days he will take to lose it.”
“Everything was costly, rare. It required careful handling. But the aunt expressed contempt for his ability to understand it. Parents are often mindlessly critical. And children copy it.” Lulu playfully nudged the ball to my grandson.
“You said it, Lulu. And by the time we discard parental messages, and learn new ways, we would have already made a few enemies.”
“I am sure your friend would have held his aunt in contempt. Contempt begets contempt. But there is more to the issue of contempt than parental messages.”
“Like?”
“Like people mistake speaking critically to be a sign of intelligence of the speaker. Thin line divides critiquing and being critical.”
“Hmmm…. I agree. They come from two different positions….”
Lulu interrupted me. “…. You got it right. When you are critiquing you judge the thing. With its pluses and minuses. Dispassionately. When you are critical you are also contemptuous, you look down upon the person, institution or the issue.”
“True. We Indians are very expressive. Using contemptuous language comes naturally to us.”
“Don’t forget that the critical language used in the judgement in Shah Bano case caused big trouble.”
“Really?”
“Zia Mody in her article on Shah Bano case says, ‘It was not a unique case; in fact, it was rather ubiquitous – the very same court had judged similar cases earlier…… And though the case was a watershed in the protection of women’s rights in a largely chauvinistic nation, it also showed how judgements of courts, which are in fact intended to resolve conflicts, can often transform into sources of conflict themselves………. The Shah Bano judgement was laced with undertones suggesting that the court was critical of Muslim personal law, especially in the context of women.’”
“Oh! I did not know it. I thought contemptuous language is the privilege of political leaders.”
“Haven’t you heard Sanjay Raut? Or Raj Thackeray? Rahul Gandhi who used ‘Chowkidar chor hai’ ad nauseam? Amit Shah? Contemptuous speech and behaviour is almost the way of life for us. Civility, decency and tolerance has deserted us. And Trump’s language is pure distilled contempt for others.”
“Good to hear that we are not alone. George Floyd episode’s underlying driving emotion is contempt. ”
“That’s the emotion behind every caste conflict, every racial conflict. We do not respect any difference. Difference of opinion included.”
“Yes, tolerance is the key. It needs to be inculcated. By the weak as well as the powerful.”
“True. And Dalai Lama says, ‘In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.’ Have you understood what it means?” Lulu looked at me inquisitively.
Vivek S Patwardhan
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
“Aroehan: Creating Dream Villages in Mokhada by 2025: “No Malnutrition Deaths, No Child ‘Out of School’, Reduction in migration by 50%.”
Hello Vivek,
I loved your discourse Contempt “Our National Language Of Conversations” very thoughtful indeed. I completely agree with you. We are taught continuously that don’t call names to the other person/s instead, share how you feel witnessing the other person’s actions or words, but to no avail. Why we can’t learn this simple habit? One reality presented itself to me. Over 60% of people are STJ (to use MBTI data) – Sensing, Thinking and Judging – I have witnessed that most of the people with this type are very good at catching ‘what is not right’ and using their Judging attitude to quickly come to a conclusion (Judging attitude also make people close things quickly). So what they say sounds critical wounding. I have coached innumerable corporate leaders who eventually learn to speak of their feelings, use more sensitive language, not jump to conclusions, etc. Of course, it’s easier said than done. At times, I have help them go deeper, deal with the intrapsychic processes, and does it take a long time? You bet, it is a long-drawn process!
Well said Vivek.
However, there comes a time when one says enough is enough.
Incidently,Lulu just whispered n said say tipping point.
Dear Vivek,
Thanks for sharing ..yes this particular case of Contempt has created quite a debate. Interesting to read various views and opinions -all are right from their individual perspective.
By a strange coincidence, yesterday I was chatting with 2 friends on this subject and one of them remarked that some persons have a habit of filing PIL’s all the time.
A larger issue comes to my mind- the HC and SC are urgently approached by various sections because they can afford to do so . This is at the cost of thousands of litigants who are in the Q waiting for their cases to come up for hearing . Offcourse, these matters should be heard ..but are each of them Urgent and important ??
Who will judge the gravity or importance of the subject –A TV channel, the press coverage,a Political Leader, NGO or social media posts.
I do not have an answer
Nice share as usual. It reminded how utterances on ‘intolerance “ had created lot of hue and cry earlier. The beautiful message on wall by Unsplash sums it all
Loved the comments on the Wall. Very insightful. So difficult to implement. But so necessary. Thank you Vivek.
Agreed Vivek…there is a thin line between critiquing and bring critical…the latter comes with its own varying quantity of contemptuous vitriol.
I am not a fan of the ” chowkidar chor hai” variety of public ridicule and definitely not a fan of name-calling of the “Pappu” variety.
When we normalise such language in public life, we narrow the boundaries between responsible critique and contemptuous criticism.
In present times however, it is becoming more and more difficult Not to react contemptuously to the shenanigans of what goes by the name of governance and constitutional values today in the country.
Can’t agree more ???
Very riveting reading, Vivek. Very rightly said. This is one level of abuse and contempt. What about all the comments on social media, titles of videos etc. saying “….slap….in the face”, “insult…..” etc. in extremely gleeful tones – and that referring to a very civilly expressed difference of opinion? The level of national dialogue has plummeted to an all time low and it remains to be seen how much lower we can fall.
Well articulated Sir. Finally its all about diversity and inclusion, Inclusion being the key work. thanks for sharing your thoughts on this
[…] the parrot lands in The OWL Despatch. Vivek Patwardhan’s prose always makes me think. This one particularly so. With him, humour in the workplace always flew first class! With a message or two. As does […]
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