Lifeline Relationships
Keith Ferrazzi’s article on Lifeline Relationships presents refreshing and comprehensive thoughts for building one of the pillars of success.
Ferrazzi argues that if we want to be successful as successful we can be, we need help of others. There are two reasons why this is necessary in my opinion: [a] we need sound advice to play our roles effectively and manage role dilemma and [b] our perception of reality decides the quality of our decisions.
We play many roles in life. Our roles undergo perceptible changes every seven years so it becomes essential to consciously take note of the changed expectations. An exercise of writing expectations of others from us at the age of 7 [as a dependent child], 14 [teenager who is influenced by peers], 21 [graduate, beginning career], 28 [married person], 35 [parent, moving one step up in career] will clearly bring out the changes in one’s roles. Not taking a cognizance of changed roles leads to conflicts that come in the way of our attaining success.
People around us, our friends and mentors, with whom we have lifeline relationships are able to help us take decisions with greater objectivity. They have a different view of reality. An individual may not assess reality correctly because of his ‘filters’ and it is here that a coach, mentor, or a close friend can make a big difference.
Ferrazzi suggests that there are four ways in which lifeline relationships will help us which are:
Helping us identify what success truly means for us including our long term career plans
Helping us figure out most robust plans to get there
Helping us identify what we need to stop doing and
Having people around us committed to ensuring that we sustain change.
And he prescribes four ways to establish lifeline relationships:
Generosity
Vulnerability
Candour
Accountability
And a few more thoughts to conclude this post:
Basically, the only thing we need is a hand that rests on our own, that wishes it well, that sometimes guides us. ~Hector Bianciotti, Sans La Misericorde du Christ
Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~Author Unknown
Vivek
As usual, you have simplified Ferazzi's theory and added your own unique insights.
Thanks Sucharita for your encouraging comment,
Vivek
With plenty of ‘relations’, lifelines remain few… friends, like books, should be few and well chosen but I guess we are in too much of a hurry to do a diamond search!
“Most people want more out of their work than just a paycheck…” but would they get a chance to board the flight of their choice? To get all parameters aligned in your favor has quite an ironic element of luck. Every action, activity, a litmus test to pass!
Maa knows best is TRUE! Somehow I guess ‘mother’ as a concept is evolving… getting standardized and rationalized to a level that would become dilute in time.
I have always been short of theories. Life situations make you evolve, better yourself and when the honesty of purpose is there… the way-forward comes out.
Liked the article for turning back to the simple facets of passion, life-support relationships, looking beyond the monies worth in a job… but in the rat race, would we get the chance?
So much of consciousness towards the future ‘perfect’ and the present continuous ignored! But again it is ‘life coaching’ and the spirit of acceptance, enjoyment would make it a juice worth the squeeze.