Expect The Opposite!

“Good Morning Lulu,” I said. “Looks like it is going to be a stormy day.”
“Yes, I can see clouds descending on the hills. Why don’t you read the official weather forecast? If they have predicted ‘a bright sunny day’ then it will surely turnout to be a stormy day.” Lulu, my parrot, said flying out and landing on TV.

“Ha, Ha. I have a friend who is consulted by some people on buying or selling stocks. They do exactly opposite of what he recommends and they seem to be winning!” I laughed.

“Things are moving in reverse gear.” Lulu.


“Amit Rai who was sentenced to life imprisonment for sexually exploiting his young Delhi girl student, has cleared Civil Services Examination and the Supreme Court has commuted his sentence. Government Officers commit sexual offences and go to jail; Amit Rai has gone to jail first and will then become a Government Officer.” Lulu said now jumping over the newspapers.

“Life is like that – full of surprises!” I said.

“Now, now! What’s on your mind?”

“As a young man I thought that Helen will never grow old. I was in school when I watched her do ‘Mera Naam Chin Chin Choo’ and I was clearing my post grad when I watched her do ‘Piya tu ab to aa jaa.’ I continued. “There is no dancer like Helen Bollywood has ever produced.”

“So?” Lulu.

“And we had a crush on Zeenat. These beautiful images of two beautiful ladies we carry in our mind. Now we hear that Helen is going to play mother in law of Zeenat! These things are so offending our sensibility! Why don’t people file a PIL to ban such films?” I said angrily.

“You never uttered a word of protest when the former heroines of Dev Anand played his mother.” Lulu pointed out.

“Leave them alone. I am still thinking of Helen, I just can’t remove her from my mind. It is true that she has aged, but hasn’t she aged so gracefully?”

“I think it comes naturally to some, as naturally as the flow of river. Amitabh too has aged so gracefully. But I won’t say the same about Jaya. From ‘the-girl-next-door’ she has become ‘the-bitching-padosan-next door.’ ” Lulu said nibbling at chillies.

“Oh, your words will sound music to Raj Thackeray!”

“I would add Sachin Tendulkar to your list of persons who have matured with time. Though given his energy and reflexes, time seems to have stopped for him.” Lulu continued his observations.

“Nobody can dispute that!” I concurred.

“That reminds me of Azaruddin. They say that he is about to divorce Sangeeta Bijlani and marry Jwala Gutta, the badminton player.” Lulu.

“Oh, no! Some batsmen in cricket are known for scoring runs and others for running out their partners. His score in personal life is going to be two then. I hope he is not selected for the ‘next match.’”

“Azar and Jwala are saying ‘No, no such relationship exists. All is well.’ Well, just like the weather bureau’s report we can expect the opposite!” Lulu said flying away.