Parroting Future

“Did you read this news? Paul, the Octopus, is making correct predictions of winner in Football games.” I drew attention of Lulu, my parrot. “Very interesting. I think that will encourage zoologists to launch a search for a Mollusk which can do the job better than Octopus. Somebody told me that his accuracy is 80%.” Lulu said laughing.

“Why a Mollusk? Must they search for a specimen in the order Octopoda?” I asked flaunting my knowledge of zoology. “I mean, parrots are known to possess that quality. One trip to Mumbai should convince anybody about it. So many fortune tellers are using parrots for the job.”

“Oh, yes. We do have that quality. But if I say I have that quality, two things might happen – firstly, nobody will believe it. I mean when you trumpet your talent the natural reaction of the audience is to deny it and find evidence of its absence. And secondly, you might sell me! Hasn’t Spanish businessman offered € 30,000 for Paul the Octopus?” Lulu commented.

“No, no Lulu. I am not going to sell you. Although € 30,000 will put some much needed cash in my bank, I am not going to sell you. I abhor seeing birds and animals as a property.” I said.

“That is very comforting.”

“Thanks. But why don’t you foretell my future?”

“That’s tricky! Tut, tut, tut” Lulu said in a worried tone.


“Because everybody believes that the future must hold a big, big surprise and a pleasant one! People do not come to learn that sometimes future can hold bad days too.” Lulu said. “People are in hurry to leave the past behind.”

“May be. I have no past to leave behind or forget.”

“I know. That is why you are not a saint!” Lulu said laughing. ‘Don’t you know that ‘every saint has a past and every sinner a future’?”

“Ok ok, now tell me who is going to win? Netherlands or Spain?”

“Netherlands, of course!” Lulu said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes, it is easy. If Netherlands wins we might get good money. And whoever loses would not kill me, they would rather go for Paul the Octopus!” Lulu said fluttering his wings and eating chillies.